he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
