im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize