would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I wish you could order shots online.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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