I CAN MOONWALK!
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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