think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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