I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
only you would photoshop your dick
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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