listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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