U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
what day is it and did you see me today?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
