You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
