end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
