You don't have asthma, your pregnant
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Randomize
