So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
