Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
