We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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