My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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