Betty ford says i'm here all night
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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