he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
