you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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