some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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