They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
