BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Randomize