Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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