Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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