I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
