just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
