i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
