She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
