Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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