they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
