sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
