I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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