like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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