Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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