Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you win again, gameday.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
