those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Randomize
