i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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