I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
