thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
