Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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