Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
