JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
