Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
