ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
