Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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