know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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