how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
