I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize