I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
