I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
