Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I stole a fireplace last night.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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