there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize