After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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