Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
