Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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