Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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