i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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