I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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