Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
